This week is Transgender Awareness Week
This year my son of 15 years became my daughter. It has been the most difficult experience of my life to change my entire mindset yet the easiest task in the world because I love my child as most mothers with my entire being. I want to introduce Donnie and spread awareness for the sake of love and teaching my child to love herself unconditionally in a society that she fears coexisting in everyday.
Sunday is Transgender Day and it will be our day to understand and empathize. I hope if you’re reading this, you take the time to do so….
A Story….
Donnie stepped out of the car and although terrified of how everyone would perceive her with her natural hair out, she walked with her head high and a switch in her hips. She smiled similar to that of a pageant queen remembering that her mom said walk with pride and keep your hands to your side because nobody needs to know that you’re nervous. Confidence was something she struggled with as a child and therefore constantly told Donnie to find the love in herself, act according to that love, and of all fails put your hands on your hips and pretend! And so Donnie did….
They walked into her hair appointment to get long beautiful box braids the kind with curls at the end, a hairstyle that Donnie had recently started to get that made her feel more like herself. Long hair made her feel beautiful although her mom said she was always beautiful and to not let her hair determine how she felt about herself.
However, when they walked in the store, there was someone in the chair and it appeared that the beautician just got started…on someone else! Everyone looked at each other with confusion. “We’re here for the 1pm appointment…” said Donnie’s mom. “What’s the name?” said the woman as she continued to separate sections of her clients hair. Donnie’s mom looked at her phone to confirm and sure enough…. they were there a day early.
“We’re here a day early!…we’ll be back tomorrow…thank you” Donnie’s face immediately dropped in disappointment. They both turned around and walked out the building.
As they were walking back to the car mom joked lightly, “welp I guess were coming back to try it again” “Mom that’s not funny!” Donnie said as her confidence crept away from her. Her walk changed and her smile faded. She was rightfully upset but for reasons that her mom didn’t fully agree with.
“What’s wrong?”
“Now I look crazy out here for no reason.” Donnie expressed with frustration.
Her mom paused before responding. She remembered how just a few minutes ago Donnie had stood so tall and confident.
“Donnie I know you’re disappointed and that’s okay but you are beautiful no matter what. Your hair actually looks gorgeous if only you understood”
They walked to Barnes and Nobles to make up for the disappointment. Donnie’s mom knew it would make things better. Donnie had been going to Barnes and Nobles with her mom since she was a baby. They would sit in the kids section and read for hours. From children’s books, to anime books, and now she found herself looking in the LGBTQ section reading a book about Transgender Teens.
“Do you want it?” Donnie’s mom asked
After they purchased books it was time to sit and read. Conveniently they received a buy one cookie get one cookie off on the receipt of the purchase. As they sat down to drink their lattes and eat the chocolate chip and snickerdoodle cookies someone approached the table.
“Sorry I don’t mean to be rude but are you a model?”
“No but thank you” Donnie smiled
“You should be….and I love your hair”
Donnie and her mom caught eyes as she looked at her with an I told you so face and smiled.
Two other people complemented Donnie on her hair and beauty as they finished the day. Donnie’s confident walk returned and a lesson was learned that day. Embrace who you are. Love who you are and that energy will create magic that draws others to you.
Donnie took pictures with her hair out before her braids and the photo went viral. Everyone was calling her a mini Marsha P. Johnson which is a distinguished compliment in the Trans community. Marsha was known for the legendary role she contributed to the stonewall riots of 1969. Stonewall triggered the the movement for the LGBTQ+ community. Marsha was black….Marsha was also killed. Her body was found in the Hudson and ruled as suicide.
Pay It No Mind- Marsha P. Johnson
Transgender deaths have been on the rise since 2013 when there has been an overwhelming number of deaths. The majority of deaths are homicidal. Furthermore, the victims have been “overwhelmingly Black, under 35 and killed with a firearm,” To have that fear is devastating and to have that fear for your child is even worse.
Recently Trans socialite Nikita Dragon was incarcerated and placed in a men’s facility which sparked concern amongst the community because numbers also show that a significant number of Trans deaths and assaults come from law enforcement incidents.
Historically, transgender and the portrayal of men dressing as women has been used and demonized in media and the world with characters like Shenaynay on Martin and has even been used in old Hollywood alongside characters like the black mammy, the maid, the jezebel, and the infamous blackface. So as a proud mother and ally of the community it’s imperative to spread a message of love for the sake of my baby.
What you can do?
Educate yourself and your family and exercise the golden rule of time which is treat people how you want to be treated. This is only the beginning for Donnie. A kid that has loved the color pink since a baby, preferred Dora over Diego, created women avatars on video games over men, gravitated towards women. A brave beautiful soul that should get the chance to be like every other human, live her life, and love freely, and wear her hair however to feel beautiful.
Marsha P. Johnson’s Motto was “Pay it no mind” but I say we need to pay it all the mind. For the sake of Donnie and the rest of the Transgender community. I love you kiddo.
“How many years has it taken people to realize that we are all brothers and sisters and human beings in the human race?” – Marsha P. Johnson
LOVE Charlotte
