I didn’t quite know how to introduce this incredible human being because speaking to her was beyond words for me and usually is. Being in Brit’s presence is more like a feeling than anything. She carries herself with such poise, warmth, and grace when she speaks and her femininity is calming yet attention grabbing. I’m into zodiacs and whenever I am around, she really does have a balancing energy so as a typical anxious Virgo, it makes it almost effortless to speak to her. When you see pictures of Brit, she glows and you would never ever know she was going through something as traumatic as what we discussed.
“While we put on our heels on and our lipstick on there’s so much strength behind so many of us and unheard battles”
My Girl Dates are typically about women in business, killing it in their game and showing out for all boss babes. Brit definitely epitomizes it, and I learned that through an extension of her story on how she used the pandemic to expand her knowledge in the real estate world. (Stay tuned) However, I asked her to come to Love with Charlotte for a different opportunity to inspire after she shared her story on social media about a common, yet uncommonly known health issue that women are experiencing globally. Uterine Fibroids.
As a health coach I am drawn to any and all issues that affect our vitality as women so I feel honored and blessed to be able to share her story and help us all educate ourselves on a matter that statistically affects 20 to 80 percent of women by the time they reach 50.
Tell me the backstory of the story….
Brit: Before experiencing it, I had absolutely never heard of it. Thats what’s so troubling for me how prevalent it is, but no-one is talking about it.
Britney discussed how she started her cycle at a very early age (10 years old!). She always experienced heavier cycles which was so different from her mother, so she struggled with finding answers for her unusual symptoms. Her cycle became more regulated once she started birth control in her teenage years however, once she decided to get off birth control in her mid twenties, she realized that naturally her cycles were heavy because they returned to what they were pre birth control. When she turned 30, it took a less than optimal acceleration of symptoms to finally determine something wasn’t right. It included…
- Frequent urination
- Heavy Bleeding (debilitating)
- Back Pain
- Cramps
- Horrible Acne
- And the worst of them….she felt a growth in her stomach.
Brit: It was to the point where I started to feel it. I probably suffered for a year in a half before I decided to really seek out help and care.
Why such a long wait?
Brit: I think it’s just the enough is enough. It wasn’t normal. It’s not normal to get up and when you drive to work 20 minutes, you’ve bled through your clothes. Thats abnormal. I had other side effects like I was just craving Ice. I was so iron deficient…losing so much blood. I was hemorrhaging…I had zero energy.
How did it affect your relationships, friendships and social life?
Brit: I have a partner that I have been with for 5 years so it was affecting my relationship. He feels bad for me, I feel bad for him. He’s a whole grown man, he’s been in relationships before, he’s had cohabitation before. Even he felt like “Ive never experienced this with a woman before”
She went on to talk about how intercourse and intimacy took a hit because her partner didn’t want to hurt her and she didn’t want to deny him.
Brit: I didn’t take any offense. I felt like this was another sign that what’s going on is not normal.
She told me how it affected her socially as well. She had a fibroid the size of a grapefruit on her right side extremely close to her bladder. It only took a cup of water and she had to go. As a faithful 49er fan (GANG) while tailgating, she couldn’t have more than a beer without having to rush to the bathroom. She had to plan everything she did around her fibroid.
Brit: I appreciate my partner so much because he didn’t make me feel bad about myself, it was my own shame and embarrassment that I carried. He’s so amazing. When I am overboard he reels me in and supported me 100%.
What the hell is a Fibroid? How does it affect us and our ability to become mothers?
Charlottes Notes: Uterine fibroids are these growths that appear on and around our womb during childbearing years. The good part about them are they are noncancerous however, beyond that they aren’t really friends to our bodies. There are a lot of issues that affect our ability to be ability to conceive and carry to full term during pregnancy and fibroids is one of them. Women all over the country are struggling with symptoms of similar conditions such as Polycystic Ovary Syndrome, Endometriosis, in addition to these fibroids that are making it very difficult to have normal lives. When I asked Brittney about this, her response made me emotional because as a mother, I couldn’t imagine having to be robbed of the opportunity to bring life into this world the way our mothers, and mother’s mothers were able to. Here’s what she had to say about pregnancy…
Brit: We thought about that while I was recovering how there’s no way I could have went through a pregnancy with what I was dealing with. Some women are deciding right now if they are going to let their baby outgrow their fibroid. I know so many older women in their 50’s who went through what I went through but they had to get a whole hysterectomy. Now, with technology I feel like we do have a lot of options. I made a decision that would still allow for me to have children in the future. If I pop up today pregnant I’d be super blessed.
She talked about how the best time to get pregnant is after surgery because they can grow back. This makes her anxious and almost feel rushed but grateful nonetheless.
Brit: One thing I did take to heart was right before my surgery they let me know that I will always have to have a C-section. There’s too high of risk in me having a natural vaginal delivery and it could cost me my life. I always imagined myself pushing my baby out naturally. It was hard to hear that… I’ll meet my baby over a curtain. It was a blessing to know that I was even eligible to have kids at all so….I’ll take it!
Walk me through your surgery process…
Brit: I am so grateful for the medical care and resources that I had access to. I knew I wanted to work with someone who was African American.
We started to talk about how the healthcare industry often uses metaphorical bandaids instead of addressing real issues. She also talked about how expense plays a part in her community and addressed women that don’t have the money to take care of themselves despite the desire to heal and fix their symptoms.
Charlottes Notes: After further research, I literally found statistics that verified what she was saying. There are significant disparities amongst black women when it comes to pregnancy complications, infertility rates, and deaths across America. In fact, a quarter of black women have fibroids compared to a 7% of white women. Additionally, there are disproportionate numbers of black women that seek medical help due to lack of healthcare/insurance and underrepresentation of black women in studies and clinical trials surrounding these issues.
Brit: I hope with more awareness there’s more resources provided in our community. I was able to narrow it down [to a black woman], but it took six months to get my appointment. The day I got there it was so worth the wait. She knew exactly what I had and created a plan immediately.
A couple of weeks later, she went through a multitude of tests including MRIs and internal ultrasounds. The outcome was an 11 inch fibroid on the top of her uterus, and a small fibroid internally. Her surgeon developed a plan and got her on the calendar to eventually undergo a surgery called a laparoscopic myectomy. This procedure involved a minimally invasive technique using multiple needles in four different places to get rid of the external fibroid and shave the inside of her uterus to remove the smaller internal fibroid. 12 hours later (twice the amount of time planned) she was out of surgery.
Brit: I was blessed to find out when they opened me up that I did not have endometriosis as well. Doctors can’t fully determine unless they go in there and look at the tissue in the uterus. I have an enlarged uterus but I did not have endometriosis. I had no nerves…apparently I was a full blown comedian coming out of surgery. They said you kept saying “this popsicle was fire”. I woke up to greens and fruit, soup, and fluids. I was so well taken care of.
So what now???
Brit: I have spent about 6 weeks total in recovery. Even with good insurance, it cost thousands of dollars to take care of myself.
This was right in the thick of the pandemic so the timing was ideal for her to be able to rest and still receive support from her job. Since her surgery, she experiences three day cycles instead of the heavy seven.
Brit: When I tell you I immediately saw the effects of my procedure! A year plus out, I still have so many benefits. I am no longer anemic, so I have the energy to do stuff and want to be active. My skin has cleared up, my intimacy is better, I can drink water and not have to stop a million times. It’s just like the little things that you take for granted. I could have been living like this a lot sooner. Why not? Lack of knowledge, and lack of conversation. I don’t ask you “Girl what are your periods like?” I didn’t have anything to compare it to. I thought this is what being a woman is for 7 days every month.
She discussed how she was able to find understanding in other women stories. She found out that the women on his fathers side had more shared experiences than her mother. So if we can make the time to have these discussions in our households it can help. She dove into all the theories and potential causes of fibroids since there is no known reason for these issues that women run into. Causes ranged from diet to as micro as hair products. She encouraged education.
Girl Date Questions for Brit
What does women empowerment mean to you?
Brit: Women empowerment means so many things to me. It’s inclusion, it’s grace, it’s selflessness, it’s sisterhood, it’s encouragement, it’s being relatable. I just think of the women in my life and just how influential they are and being aware of your witness in a way. Some of us walk through life and think nobody is watching us, but to be mindful of how the next woman is looking at you, how you present at work, how you are in your community, there is so much power that simply exists in a woman just by being and the strength that I think GOD created us for. There are so many things that we do alone that no man could ever do. Own that and know.. you are powerful and walking that out every day. Another woman is always watching…each one teach one.
“I decided long ago in my faith that my life is not my own and I truly feel like I am here for other people.”
She for sure embodies this….
I love my girl time. I love being around women. I am grateful for my sisters and my mother….
What is Love to you?
God is love. 100% God is love, and I only understand love because of God. It’s a fortune to have a mother that took me to church…and have a relationship with the lord for myself. To me there is no greater form of Love. Every single bit of healing, redemption, and patience I have experienced through my faith is why I think I understand and know love. I try to truly say WWJD. Put your bracelet on because sometimes I be in between WWJD and matching energy but at my core because of the love of God and how he forgives me and restores me, that’s what I want to put out into the world.
Vibes vibes vibes vibes….
I am so grateful to have had her bless us all with her story to educate us and make us better and heal us. I am looking forward to seeing all the blessings of love, life, and bossy behavior come her way. Follow her on IG and at her always aesthetically pleasing business page for more. Love you Brit.
